What dead bird? Me? I wouldn’t know anything about no dead bird. Maybe it just died of natural causes, on the carpet, with half its feathers missing.
I has donner calzone. Tastes a bit familiar. The big human says if I don’t behave, I’m in the next one.
Kill! Kill! Die! Haha! Also, look at my toe beans. Touch them. Haha! KILL!
So now they’re using me as some sort of measuring stick. Weirdos.
This seemed a better idea at the time. Now I am strangely annoyed, I’m going to stare at the wall and flick my tail, that might help.
Look at me, I’m a work human. Off to work I go.
Stupid human isn’t able to tell the difference between a courgette and a cucumber.
PS, try that cucumber thing on me and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.
My non-evil housemate has returned. I’ll scare her off in a moment. Later we might go out for a fight in the garden, or race around the house at 4am growling at each other.
Yeah mate, been out fighting, innit. Got me a nice scratch and swollen nose. Should have seen the other one!
Go away, is too warm. Today I pretend to be roadkill kitty. Normal biting will return later.